And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
It’s scares me that only 16,000 people know what this is
wtf is this some kind of choclat bar
This object has killed over 400,000 people
oh my god.
WE’RE THE OLD ONES NOW
AM I THAT OLD?!
It’s days like this that I like to remember that the Irish government are ever proud of the Spire of Dublin.
It’s literally a 400 ft metal spike sticking out of the ground. It was supposed to be done for the new millennium but they didn’t start building it until 2002.
And it’s supposed to be self-cleaning but it doesn’t work and there’s no way to clean it.
not to mention it’s ‘unofficial name’
the erection at the intersection
This is the best explanation I’ve ever read.
"do you love the character or the person who plays them?"
i love seeing girls close ranks when their fella is cheating, instead of defending him and attacking the other girls. like seriously. it warms my cold, cold heart so much.
i need the rest of this story, where did you put the body
I’ve always wanted to do this. I hope they all went out for ice cream later too.
i want an update on this
FORCED TO FLEE WITH HIS NAN
it has been one of my greatest dreams to beat the living shit out of something at least once so god fucking help anybody that ever tries to assault me because i will be brimming with every violent urge that i have ever tucked away in my entire life
I travel the world for the perfect tea
Everybody’s looking for Darjeeling
Some of them want to infuse you
Some of them want to be infused by you
i’m cute as hell, which is incidentally where i came from
- upset stomach and vomiting
- muscle aches
- chronic fatigue
- hormonal problems
- irregular menstrual cycles
- lowered immune system
- shortness of breath
- heart palpitations
it is a lot more than just “feeling anxious “
we need to talk about shrek more
come listen to sad songs and talk about the universe with me